Shit happens…
I just HAD to share this…
Courtesy of David Petro, London, who has broken all barriers of creativity.
Since the ancient Greeks and the birth of tragedy, or indeed eariler, we have asked ourselves the question, “Why do bad things happen?” Most philosophy tries to answer this question in one way or another.
Catholicism:
Shit happens and you deserve it.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Charismatic Catholicism:
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
Protestantism:
Shit happens and it is someone else’s fault.
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
Episcopalianism:
If shit happens, hold a procession.
Presbyterianism:
This shit was bound to happen.
Methodist:
It’s not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Lutheranism:
Shit happens, but as long as you’re sorry, it’s OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
If shit happens, don’t talk about it.
Anglicanism:
It’s true, shit does happen — but only to Lutherans.
Quakers:
Let us not fight over this shit.
Calvinism:
Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Baptist:
You are shitting all wrong, and you’ll be punished for it.
We’ll wash the shit right off you.
Southern Baptist:
Shit will happen. Praise the Lord!
Congregationalism:
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another
Unitarianism:
Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
What is this Shit?
We affirm the right for shit to happen.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
It’s not the shit that matters. It’s the process.
Come let us reason together about this shit.
Pentecostalism:
In Jesus’ name, heal this shit!
Orthodox:
St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.
Greek Orthodox:
Shit happens, usually in threes.
Puritanism:
Shit can happen all day as long as you don’t call it that.
EST:
I am at cause that shit will not happen.
You’re responsible for all the shit that happens.
Fundamentalism:
There’s no shit in the Bible.
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Shit happens, but don’t publish it.
Mormonism:
This shit will happen again.
If shit happens, shun it.
Let the shit multiply.
Excrement happens. (you can’t say ‘shit’ in Utah)
Hey, there’s more shit happening over here!
God sent us this shit.
Shit happens again & again & again …
Islam:
Shit happens and it is all the fault of those American swine.
If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
We don’t take any shit
Sunni Islam:
If it happens to be shit, it’s Allah’s will and you’d better submit!
Shiite happens.
Shi’ite Islam:
WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
If shit happens, take a hostage.
Nation of Islam:
Don’t take no shit!
Iraqi Baathist:
Oh shit!
Sikhism:
Leave our shit alone.
Hinduism:
Shit happens and it has happened before.
This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
This shit happening IS you.
This shit happened before…………
Judaism:
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Buddhism:
Shit happens, but how do you know it is really shit?
If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
If shit happens, it isn’t really happening TO anyone.
Shit will happen again to you next time.
Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.
Zen:
What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit happens, but if it happens in the forest does it make a sound?
Taoism:
If you can shit, it isn’t shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.
Rastafarianism:
If shit happens, roll it and smoke it.
Confucianism:
Confucius say, “Shit happens.”
Confucius say, “If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY.”
Atheism:
No shit.
I don’t believe this Shit.
Shit just happens and that’s all there is to it.
Shit doesn’t happen. Shit is dead.
It looks and smells like shit, so I’m damned if I’m going to taste it.
Agnosticism:
Farts happen.
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven’t tasted it, so I’m not sure whether it’s shit or not.
What is this shit?!
I don’t know shit!
You can’t prove any of this shit!
Voodoo:
Shit doesn’t just happen — somebody dumped it on you.
Let’s stick some pins in this shit!
This shit’s gonna get you!
Amish:
Shit is good for the soil.
This modern shit is worthless.
Native Americans:
Shit is sacred when it happens.
Shintoism:
You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
Sushi happens.
Stoicism:
This shit is its own reward.
This shit is good for me.
Mysticism:
This is really weird shit.
Just experience shit happening.
Twelve Step:
Shit happens one day at a time and not until you admit you are powerless to resist it
Creationism:
… And the Lord said “Let there be shit” … and there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, He rested.
Creation Science:
Shit has only been happening since October 23rd 4004 B.C.
Discordianism:
Shit makes the flowers grow and that’s beautiful.
Kibology:
What’s shit, and where can I get some?
Satanism:
We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
We will make your shit happen.
SNEPPAH TIHS.
Witchcraft:
Mix this shit together and it will happen!
Zoroastrianism:
Shit happens half the time.
Christianity stole half its shit from us.
Marxism:
This shit is going to hit the fan.
Seventh Day Adventist:
No shit on Saturdays.
Existentialism:
Shit is, therefore it happens.
Absurd shit.
Gnosticism:
I know why shit happens but I won’t tell you.
Nihilism:
Who gives a shit?
Deconstruction:
Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Christian Science:
If shit happens, pretend it doesn’t really exist
When shit happens, don’t call a doctor; pray.
Shit doesn’t happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in it.
Our shit will take care of itself.
Shit happens in your mind.
Moonies:
Only happy shit really happens.
Scientology:
Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.
Faeces occurs.
All this happens to be shit.
If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.
This shit happened before, but we can clean it up if you pay us enough.
Hare Krishna:
Shit happens, Rama Rama.
Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens…….
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
she-it, she-it… (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.
Hedonism:
There’s nothing like good shit happening.
New Age:
Affirm Shit does not happen to me.
That’s not shit, it’s feldspar.
This isn’t shit if I really believe it’s chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honour it and share it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
Jehovah’s Witness:
Let us in, and we will tell you why shit happens.
No shit happens until Armaggedon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Knock Knock, “Shit Happens.”
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I’ll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
Secular Humanism:
Shit evolves.
Darwinism:
Survival of the shittiest.
This shit was once food.
Wicca:
Shit happens if you will it to happen.
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.
Sufism:
The wise man never notices shit happening.
Solipsism:
Shit happens because I wish it.
Televangelism:
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening…
Asceticism:
If shit happens, renounce it.
Cartesianism:
Shit happens to me, therefore I exist.
Platonism:
There is ideal shit happening somewhere.
Epicureanism:
Let’s party while shit doesn’t happen.
Cynicism:
Of course shit happens.
Occultism:
Shit materializes from other planes of existence.
Divorcism:
She’s full of shit!
He’s fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.
Terrorism:
Shit will happen unless you do as I say.
Pollyanism:
It’s so nice that shit happens!
Behaviourism:
You are conditioned to having shit happen.
Freudianism:
If shit happens, it’s your mother’s fault.
Parapsychology:
Shit happens without material causes.
Surrealism:
Purple shit happens near melting clocks.
Cubism:
If shit happens, you won’t recognize it.
Cultural Relativism:
Shit happens everywhere differently.
Optimism:
If shit happens, we’ll find a way to use it.
Pessimism:
If shit happens, there won’t be enough for everybody.
Rajhneesh:
Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.
Shamanism:
Whoaa…Holy Shit!
Sureshism:
You are all pieces of shit.
Lubavitcher Hassidism:
Blessed are they upon whom He sends His most holy Shit to happen.
Mithraism:
Bull shit happens.
Tabloid Sensationalism:
Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone.
Secular Humanism:
Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit.
Scientific Reductionism:
If shit happens, find out what kind exactly.
Scientific Obscurantism:
Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases.
Bureaucracy:
I don’t care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms.
Feminism:
Women demand to have shit happen.
This shit happened before, and WE won’t clean it up!
Ecology:
If organic shit happens, it’s OK.
Capitalism:
Let’s profit from shit happening.
Socialism:
If shit happens, let’s distribute it equally.
Patriotism:
Our shit is better than your shit.
Conservatism:
They don’t make even shit happen like they used to.
Liberalism:
Shit shouldn’t happen tomorrow.
Classical Physics:
Shit does not ‘happen’, it just moves around.
Quantum Physics:
Shit happens but you can’t say both where and when.
Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons.
Holistic Physics:
If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.
Microcomputing:
If shit happens, we’ll fix it in the next version of Windows ™.
Computer Science:
All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine.
Applied Mathematics:
The probability of shit happening approaches unity.
Engineering:
When shit happens, paint over.
Medicine:
If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning.
Economics:
Shit happens because there’s a great demand for it.
Politics:
If shit happens, make a deal with it.
Diplomacy:
Let’s pretend shit doesn’t happen.
boss
there is too much s..t going around
@Nairatazee: …couldn’t agree more ;-)
Kuch likh na yaar… been so long… :-(
@Noddy: If you see the big picture here… every post on my blog is fresh…you read it after one year and each post makes you feel the same that it did when you read it for the first time (Alma Mater is a good example). That is my style. Fluency. Writing in a kinda natural way, not artificially. Trust me, there’s a lotta sh!t out there where bloggers feel that they are the first born of Shakespeare and put in words of such convoluted magnitude that the meaning is far from clear to even the most learned of scholars. Artificiality. I don’t want that to infect my blog. …will write when I feel like writing, the feeling is almost uncanny. I once participated in this thing called “Klash” and had to pass a motion to everyone to at least f@$k!ng EXPLAIN their posts… but guess what? The winners were apparently chosen on the basis of “Fools always admire what they do not understand (dunno) ” Naaaaah, thazz not happening to my blog :-)
P.S. This did gimme an idea to write a blog post entitled “On Blog Writing…” will thinkaboutit ;-)
Arnav, I’m impressed with your perception of our blog, Karma n Konfessions.
What you’re calling ‘artificiality’ is art, if you don’t understand it, too bad. However, I’m surprised you’ve never told US about how YOU feel.
Spending time and effort constructing a composition with ‘trite’ words may seem artificial to you, but to some it’s the result of study and much soul. I’m afraid I’ll have to take a raincheck on my members now.
Shinjini Singh, Knk.
And as far as “explaining” our posts at Klash was concerned, might I remind you how you were the first to explain yours on ‘Sugar’.
Just to refresh your memory, Pinchi–
http://klashknk.blogspot.com/2008/02/sugar.html
Not only did you ‘once’ participate in our blog, you were rather enthusiastic too. I suppose the enthusiasm ran out when your ‘fluency’ didn’t win an immediate ‘krown’. I think Knk is run very democratically, and more often than not, the simplest entries have won themselves a krown. I can’t remember a time when my convoluted entries won more than a single vote or none.
If you’d like to talk about the klash, find it in yourself to do it amongst people who know exactly how the klash works.
Shinjini.
Hey, have been reading whatever you have written so far and may I take the opportunity to say that you are indeed Good at whatever you are writing.
I am associated with Anamika since 2 years now. And I see some evident spite that you have spewed all over her. She is just keeping silent, because she was at fault then. But its been 7 months since you guys have been in that situation. Cut her some slack. She is a regular here. And she just doesnt say anything, cos she thinks it would be better for everybody. But why then would u want to hurt her again and again?
Publish this shit and bring solace to your over inflated ego, that some chick still does think about you. Leave it man. Please, she has been coping with this shit really badly. Dont reduce her to dust.
@Shantanu: Thanks Shatanu. I never thought that the Klash had anything to do with Anamika anyways. And ya right… my “over-inflated” ego. I am INDEED surprised that a casual conversation between me and my friend in comments on a blog can instill such anger in you guys. I don’t think I have the right to tell anyone that I did not like the Klash. Fine. Whatever.
@Shinjini: Thanks Shinjini. The participation in the Klash (or the lack of it) didn’t have anything to do with winning whatsoever. But again pls feel free to think whatever you want.
@Shinjini: Thanks again. Ya, I don’t understand art, and I don’t want to work on it. But I would appreciate if you gimme the right to talk to my friends about how I feel about things, be it Obama or mousetraps or Klash. Just because you own something doesn’t mean no one can talk about it. Does it? I know this will be a looooong discussion, so please, I apologize. Thanks.
@Shatanu: … and ya, please feel free to tell me the “evident spite” that I have been spewing. If a comment could “reduce someone to dust” it would be me to go first. By the way did I ever mention to Noddy that Klash had anything to do with Anamika (or whosoever) anyways? Amazing man. One simple comment and so much hullabaloo. Thanks again.
… and finally thanks to the person who (once again) managed to make everyone hate me. Thank you so much.
Arnav,
I’m certain anyone who’s put their soul into creating, finding members and maintaining a blog would react the way I did. If not harsher.
As a supporter and activist of/for free speech OBVIOUSLY I understand your privacy, I also think you understand why I’m even responding to a comment between two friends.
And I’m not going to ‘get my klash buddies’ to see this. I do not hate you, but I certainly am disappointed you didn’t mention this to me before.
As ever,
S.
“every post on my blog is fresh………. That is my style. Fluency. Writing in a kinda natural way, not artificially.”
Oh come on Arnav, the whole post is copy-pasted and you say ‘writing in a natural way’
@Mickey: Thanks Mickey. Amazing that you read thru the entire post without noticing that the original author has been given due credit right at the very beginning. Good going.
@Shinjini: The entire issue came up because somebody thinks that whatever I write on my blog and has the REMOTEST link with her, is written to spite her. Which is certainly not the case. I do not defend my right to criticise the Klash. As I said before, I didn’t even mention to my friend that the Klash had anything to do with ANYONE (see the comment-discussion between me and Noddy urself) in the first place. I could have if I had wanted to. Hate me allllll you can or want. I know there will be a lot many comments now which will belittle this blog. I don’t care. It might be worth everyone’s time to go trash a relationship/blog/profile at the behest of a certain someone. I dont care about that either. Bring it on. But sometimes, just sit back and think a step further than the obvious. Anytime in life. Acha hai.
Hey all,
Wow seems to me that everybody has come together on this forum to discuss people’s lives out openly. After all, this was the very place everything began in the first place.
Now :
@ Santanu:
Thanks mate. But you really shouldnt have openly stated personal conversations on the blog. Not what friends do. Thank you anyway. Didnt you read ” Thanks to the person who has made everybody hate me once again” and the likes of it, so many times now? Thank you for screwing it further.
@ Mickey:
Thank you for standing up for the Klash. I do as well. But lets not dissect Arnav’s motive or work behind the articles whatsoever. He has mentioned due credits to whoever in everything that he has ever borrowed. So please, lets not turn it into something bitter.
@ Shinjini:
Thank you for addressing my disappointment and defending the Klash. I am in for it.
and finally
@ Arnav :
If you think that I bought everyone here to gain brownie points for your sarcastic unemphatic-toward-others conversation, then hats off to you. Never really knew, that I induced hatred toward you into others. Yehh. Well.
Thank you and will keep out of your space. Sorry to intrude it in the first place.
Its truly truly unbelievable how people can say so much to you, Arnav, without understanding your side of the story. … and ya before you lecture me again on not commenting on ur blog, I wont. Ye last comment hai, sambhal ke rakhna :-)
@Anamika: You don’t have to justify anything here, simply because I really really don’t care. Earlier it was Kanwarjeets, Smritis, Priyankas and Snehas… now its Santanus, Shinjinis and Mickeys. Had I been in their place, I would not poke my nose into somebody else’s business without giving serious thought to it. But ya, please go ahead and tell everyone whatever stories you want to, and since they won’t ever confirm anything with me anyways, so ya they can come on my blog, crap and go. I don’t care. And nor do I want any sympathies from any of my “friends” saying that I have been “coping” a lot with things. I know who I am, and what I am, and what I have been through. Your “friends” can gather in brainless flocks to try and “destroy” me or “reduce me to dust”, basing their judgements on whatever you might tell them… It simply is not worth my time and effort. Whatever dude, whatever.
@Everyone: If you scan any of my posts for the “evident spite” and or whatever have you, you might incidentally notice that I am really busy, especially with exams coming up in two weeks. So I would appreciate if you just email me your feedback rather than spitting it out in here on the blog. Thanks.
@Nidhi: …see what a casual comment “kuch likh na yaar….” did? Anyways, anyone can call me things without listening to my side of the story. That’s why they are called people.
Arnav,
My comments don’t have anything to do with your-Ana’s relationship, something I’m not in the least aware or interested in.
Kindly do not add me to a crowd of brainless nosy parkers..who btw, are well justified in defending their friend for whatever reason ever.
All I give a damn about is Knk and as far as this blog, space, you or Ana are concerned– I do not care.
S.
@Shinjini: Thanks Shinjini. “…who btw, are well justified in defending their friend for whatever reason ever”. Well justified? Yeah? Without even getting to know who I am, what I do, where I am, in what condition whatsoever? Think and write Shinjini. Did you ever think that Ana could’ve told you regarding my comment on the Klash for a reason? Socha kabhi ek step aagey? Seedhe comment kiya. Kyu? Again, please. I have exams coming up. Really don’t have time for this. “I do not care…” and stuff is easier said than done.
Is somebody talking about Klash. Well then being the current admin of the blog, I have every right to be here :)
So Arnav, you think we are a bunch of “Fools” always admiring what we do not understand.
Great!! Pinchi, and you are gossiping this with Nidhi behind our backs. You never told this when you twice took part in Klash
@Nidhi, You wanting to read some stuff, come to this blog, I am sure you will love this
http://klashknk.blogspot.com/
Its not as bad as Pinchi has been telling you.
@DokSaab: Thanks, DokSaab. Firstly: “….fools always admire what they do not understand…” is a symbolic statement. Secondly, yes you have EVERY right to eavesdrop a conversation between me and Nidhi. Moreover, next time I think of talking to Nidhi “behind your back” on any topic, I will drop you a permission letter, which you can sign and return. Can you please direct all Klash participants here so they can get over with their comments too? Soon? Please do.
@Arnav,
You are conversing ‘privately’ with Nidhi on a public document open for all to read. And Visiting a blog is not eavesdropping.
You want to talk to anyone about anyone,Obama or Osama, why publish it on your blog.
You invited this Arnav, by calling us fools. And no one is directing anyone, we are all mature people able to take our own decisions.
And sorry if I hurt your sentiments, but you hurt ours too, Arnav.
Best of luck for your exams, Arnav, I wish you’ll not take all this shit happening here to your heart.
@DokSaab: Thanks DokSaab. I never mentioned that it was a “private” conversation. And “if I want to talk about Obama….” NO ONE DICTATES WHAT I PUBLISH ON MY BLOG AND WHAT NOT. Except the LAW. Please get that STRAIGHT. I did not call anyone a fool btw. Also regarding “private” remarks, I could give you a million instances where people converse “privately” with each other in the comments on Klash entries. Again… “no one is directing anyone…” REALLY? Did you EVER even read my blog before this comment came up? Visiting a blog is not eavesdropping but DERIVING CONCLUSIONS from an innocent comment discussion AND COMMENTING on the same, is. Thanks for ur wishes.
…now my exams are done. So did any of the commenting people read the disclaimer, first of all…?
Hey … Good your exams over, so here is one from me … lets meet online to play chess … it’s been long time we played :)
_______________________________________________
Just read a blog and felt like writing this …
People always love to discuss other’s personal life in public … I really can’t understand why and what pleasure they get out of it (think)
Disclaimer: Nobody owns this comment, neither do I (lol)
@Sachin: Disclaimer for comments !! Waah kya innovation hai (lol)