“Repercussions” OR “How I rate myself”

Never has any other post on this blog elicited so strong a comment count as Birdwatching. So this article is based upon how I rate myself. Why? Reasons shall follow at the end.

I feel like the Bard of Avon, who drenched in the rain (on purpose, to the amazement of onlookers), is sitting down to write another of his plays “Twelfth Night” Or “What you will”, so I name this post in a similar fashion.

Ok. So after 6 days of interviewing 39 people( 29 girls, 6 guys and 2 couples) over the phone, smses, emails, social networks or just good ol’ talk, I reached a conclusion as to how women rate men. And so in case I decide to jump into the competition, I will rate myself based on the feedback provided.

I shall break down the feedback into sections, rate myself and then take an average.

First Look(s): (Height, looks, complexion, body structure… and whatever women analyze)

On a first look I am an ordinary looking guy who is dark, not-so-tall and un-handsome. Off-late the adage for the typical Indian male seems to be tall, fair and handsome (handsome being subjective, but nevertheless a function of the first two parameters).

My height is the average number so oft found in India. Not-so-tall not-so-short. So anyone who is with me would either have to give up her heels (any size of heels will work) for a lifetime or risk appearing taller than I am. I’m nobody’s tallest dude. So I am probably fit for women who want to remain flat footed for the rest of their lives. (When Nicole Kidman broke up with Tom Cruise, she made a statement “At least, I can wear heels now”, on the David Letterman show). So, Steven Segal gets an 8, I get a 4. Not that I am half as tall as he is, but the scale is not linear.

I am not good to look at. I don’t think the factor warrants more exposition. I’ll grant myself a 4.

Body structure. I exercise well, know how to put on and reduce weight. But that don’t make me no Bruce Lee. So Bruce Lee gets a 9, I get a 6. Let’s just accept that without visual proof.

So on the looks scale I get (4+4+6)/30, i.e. 14/30. Let’s keep that score.

Financial condition/Assets/Vehicles/Style:

My new job!

When it comes to finances, my present and future condition is doubtful. This is because I am taking a major leap into a different field. So till the time I actually start earning, nothing can be said.

Assets: Short answer: None.

Vehicles: Now, women do want their husbands to have a way of commuting around. A bike or a car. I know how to ride a bike, but don’t own one. I know how to drive a car, (have spent half my life getting women to parties and the other half dropping them off home after that) but again, don’t own one. And neither do I plan to own any of these in the future. The reasons, unlike you might assume, are not financial. So anyone who (poor thing) decides to spend her life with me, can forget about comfort. I will never own a car (I could write that 100 times as a punishment), and that means I will have no style. No Aston or Optra for me. I’ll probably take a taxi or a local bus, or a bullock cart or a rickshaw. Now that I know (from purely personal experience) that cars and bikes which contribute to style have such a high priority in womens’ lists, my chances are bleak, and to tell you the truth, I’m perfectly fine with it. So anyone who owns a bike and/or a car gets a 9 or probably a 10, I get a 0. Onboard my ship the Filipinos had a favourite line : “No money, no honey”. Very true.

As far as other gadgets that contribute to style, I don’t own many of them either. Zero is a definitive rating.

So, on the style scale, I get a 0/10. Let’s keep that score.

Location:

I am from a small city (actually town) called Shimla. No good cinema halls, no fun on beaches, no good restaurants, no pubs, no nightclubs, no place you can go and dance the salsa (or the tango or foxtrot for that matter), the movies that they show here are released two years ago in a metropolitan like Delhi or Mumbai. Anyone who decides to spend her life with me (poor thing; this has almost become a refrain now), is stuck up in Shimla. No late night parties, no romantic evenings on beaches, no long drives either (see previous heading)… and so forth. I had been told by one of my female friends that when she got married, her parents gave her a choice “Choose the guy or the location”, she never told me what she chose, but I’m sure it was location. And as far as mine is concerned, well, have said enough about it already. Not that I’ll give myself a zero just because I’m from Shimla, but 3 should be fine. Someone from USA will get a 9, Mumbai an 8, I’ll give myself a 3.

So, on the Location scale I get a 3/10. Let’s keep that score.

Attitude, Skills and paraphernalia:

I have enough of skills, knowledge and attitude that I could pass on to my kids. But again, when you have cars, bikes and style, who cares about skills, values and crap? Ladies, tell me frankly, who would you rather be with? A guy who has skills to ride a bike or a guy who actually owns a Hayabusa? A guy who takes you around in an autorickshaw or a guy who gives you ride home on his bike? A guy who hires a taxi driven by a taxi-driver or a guy who buys you a car? I know the answer. So here without any further arguments, I’ll grant myself a 2.

So, on this scale I get a 2. Let’s keep that score.

Time to add up !

Adding up all the scores we get : (14+0+3+2)/(30+10+10+10) = (20/60) = 3.16/10 which when rounded off gives 3/10.

Hey! That is exactly the rating given by one of the people who commented! So, I guess, despite the pains I took to write this article, women just know, who or what I am. Those who are more courteous just avoid telling it on my face.

Why I wrote this article was:

• Had I rated any of the “ratings” who commented on , and tomorrow if any of them were my boss, I’d be dooced.
• After reading that article, no one should worry about how I rate them. After all, I myself am a 3/10 so who would want to be rated by a 3 anyway?