The DEBIT crunch…

Ok. Its around 1pm and we have lunch at UPH and then move on back to MBS to attend the Ops Mgmt Class. I have to withdraw some money from the ATM machine in University Precinct, the RBS Bank one.

I get in queue and everything is  normal. THREE people standing in front of me in the queue take their money from the cash machine and leave with smiling, happy, satisfied faces. Almost like Yahoo Smileys.

Then its my turn. The planets, stars, galaxies and alternate universes get ready to align themselves in a ONE-IN-A-10000000000000 year position. Here goes.

I insert my card and the machine asks for my PIN. I enter it. I enter then, the amount of cash I need to withdraw. The machine makes some quirky sounds and then I see a mouse cursor. EVERYTHING goes blank. The familiar ATM interface is replaced by something that says “Windows is shutting down.” And a few minutes later, that is exactly what it does. SHUTS DOWN.

The obvious step is to go to the bank and report the situation.I enter RBS bank, (my card is a Lloyds TSB), and tell them about what just happened. This lady, sorry, woman comes up and the conversation goes this way -

Woman: “The card might not be yours, and so we can’t give it back.”
Me: “But it is mine, I can show you my ID. Besides you have a camera outside, have a look at it.”
Woman: “We can’t give you back the card due to security reasons.”
Me: “What will you do with it, when you find it?”
Woman: “We will destroy it.”
Me: (thinking: WTF?) “So will you reissue a new one?”
Woman: “…since your card is a Lloyds, you need to contact your bank and tell them to reissue it.”
Me: “Can you at least check whether my account has been debited off the amount? …since I did not receive any cash?”
Woman: “We can’t do that due to security reasons.”
Me: (thinking: is this the lost-card department or the anti-terrorist branch of the MI-6? ) “Name ONE security reason.”
Woman: “Well, Sir, the card might not be yours…”

This woman starts to remind me of the mannequin in that horror movie – Dead Silence. I might as well have talked to the cash machine – at least it could have generated some useful beeps.

Me: (interrupting, and sensing that the conversation is not leading anywhere) “Whatever.” (ending the sentence with a stern look and thinking that these guys definitely need some PMO lessons)

So I look up into the sky and to that thing i do… (U) and I head off to Lloyds.

There I have a lengthy conversation with a customer service representative and fill up a form regarding the claim of cash that has been debited off my account but not received by me. The bottomline is that it will take three weeks to offset that amount and probably the same time to reissue the card.

I asked whether I could withdraw any money NOW.
Other woman: “Yes, Sir, we would like to see an identification.”
Me: “I have a student ID.”
Other woman: “Well, Sir, on a student ID you can only withdraw £20.”
Me: “What other ID do you want?”
Other woman: “Passport…”
Me: (before she finishes her sentence, I laugh out loud) “OK. Never mind.”

Now, it so happens that my passport is at the Egyptian Embassy in London for visa processing. Now that’s what I call a CIRCULAR JINX.

So no cash. No means to withdraw it either. Will work for food…
I sense the starting of a rags to riches story here…and yeah, Happy Holi.

Recommendations: Please stay away from me. As some people have realised already, my bad luck may be infectious !!