Bollywood.NET ++

I was never a good programmer – partly because programming was a hobby, so after a couple of TSRs and smoke-bellowing programs, these having no relevant link to my profession – I diverted my energy to other things – like jumping out of planes. Oh, well…

So here’s to CODING! Except that it envisions snippets of code that could be written instead of a movie script.

—————————————————

#define Gabbar
#define Hero

int hands = 2;

gabbar.cout << “Ye haath mujhe de de thakurrr…”;
cin >> gabbar.sword();

int hands_left = hands–;

if(hands_left==0)
{
gabbar.Add_To_Personal_Collection(hands);
}

gabbar.exit();
hero.handless();

hero.Shop_For_Shoes(SPIKES) = TRUE;

—————————————————

#define hero
#define heroine

int rounds;
for(int i = 1; i <= rounds; i++)
{
hero.Go_Around_Tree(i);
heroine.Go_Around_Tree(i+0.5);

hero.Sing_Song(Lakshmikant_Pyarelal);
heroine.Sing_Song(Shankar_Jaikishen);
}

—————————————————

#define hero
#define villian

Binary Maa_Ka_Dhoodh = TRUE;

STRING Challenge = “Tune maa ka doodh piya hai to saamne aa…”;

hero.cout << Challenge;

if(villian(Maa_Ka_Dhoodh == TRUE)
{
villian.appear();
}
else
{
villian.disappear();
}

hero.Repeat(Challenge);

—————————————————
#define mother
#define son

son.Blood_Cancer = TRUE;

mother.cout << “He bhagwaan, meri jaan le le, mere bete ko bachaale bhagwaaaaaan…”;

Sky.Lightning();
Sky.Thunder();
Wind.Twister();
Earthquake.Richter_Scale(3.7);

mother = son;
son = mother;

mother.Blood_Cancer = TRUE;
son.Blood_Cancer = FALSE;

—————————————————-

#define hero
#define villian
#define Dhai_Kilo = 2.5;

int hand_weight;

if (hero.hand_weight < 2.5) // “Jab yeh dhai kilo ka haath padta hai na…”
{
villian.Wake_Up(); // “… to koi uth nahi”

}

else
{
villian.Fly(); // “…uth jaata hai”
}

—————————————————-

#define Kalia

while(Kalia.In_Line == TRUE) // “Kalia jahaan khada ho jaye…”
{
Kalia.position = 1; // “…line wahin se shuru hoti hai.”
}

—————————————————-

#define ANYTHING

while(ANYTHING)
{
Mogambo.Happy();
}

—————————————————-

#define Kanoon
#define Length = 100000000000000000000000

Kanoon.hand_length = Length*Length*Length //Kanoon ke haath bade lambe hote hain

—————————————————-

#define hero
#define pissed_off_relative

STRING rule = “Is ghar ke darwaaze tumhaare liye humesha humesha ke liye band hain.”;

if (stranger == hero && rule == TRUE)
{
house.doors = close;
}
else
{
house.doors = open;
}

—————————————————

#define actor

while (actor == Dharmendra)
{
Kutte.Drink_Blood = TRUE;
Kaminey.Drink_Blood = TRUE;
}

—————————————————

#define LINEAR y=mx+c
#define TEDHI y=mx^2

//”Kutte ki dum tedhi ki tedhi rehti hai

if (DOG == ALIVE)
{
kutte_ki_dum = TEDHI;
}

else
{
kutte_ki_dum = LINEAR;
}

—————————————————

#define ORDER = “Isse dhakke maar ke bahar nikaal do”

for (int dhakka=1; dhakka<1000; dhakka++)
{
Servant.ORDER();
Give_Dhakka(hero);
}

hero.exit();

—————————————————

Please feel free to add more to the comments :)